Wednesday, July 8, 2020
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| Short Stories : The Attachment Partner (Chapter 7) |
When we arrived at the hotel, we went straight to my suite, because it would be besieged again. Nobody knew me yet, so nobody was here and we would have the rest of the evening to ourselves. I think tonight I'll tell him all about my past. At least what I know.
He lay stretched out on the bed and was relaxing with music coming from the television. Or was he asleep? Couldn't say how he lay there with his eyes closed. If she looked at him like this: tall, slim, actually too tall for her, he was at least 30 cm taller than her. If she thought about it, she would just hold him up to her shoulder. Black short hair that kept falling on his face, brown eyes that looked like they couldn't lie, with which he could really enchant you, and a tattoo on the right upper arm. She could understand why so many women fell in love with him, including her.
"Do you just want to look at me longer or are you finally coming to me a little bit" he asked her "There's still a lot of room for you, I think I deserved a little loving company today, right?"
"Yes darling I'll be right there, I order and just something to drink. I think a bottle of champagne wouldn't be bad? I also wanted to tell you something else right away, ”now it was out and there was no turning back. She had to talk about this hated topic. If she wanted to stay with him, he had a right to know. Why was it so difficult to talk about it? It had been so many years now.
She put the phone on the table and came to him. Her head on his chest, she just seemed to need his closeness. So she was still there as the page brought the champagne, poured it and retreated discreetly.
Suddenly life seemed to come back into her: "The first glass is for your great show tonight and for both of us." With a train she drank the whole glass as if she wanted to drink courage.
Walking up and down the room, she tried to find a start "If only I knew how to start."
“Gerd found me in a ditch in Germany 7 years ago. Thrown away like a sack of garbage. More death than alive. Beaten up with a lot of broken bones and to all misfortune even pregnant and without memory. That's why I don't know who my daughter's father is.
The doctors are still trying to convince me that I can't remember anything because I just don't want it deep inside. But I do not believe that. Because then I should at least remember my childhood or youth. At the beginning I only knew that my name was Birgid and I was born on May 27th 1966.
If he hadn't found me, I wouldn't be here or anywhere else. He visited me in the hospital every day and tried to give me some will to live again.
But I think without the child in me, he wouldn't have made it.
I still know today that I wanted to give up. But I know that I still have an important task in life and if it is only to finish the one or those who have done this to me and indirectly to Ivon.
For that I have to have my memories again. Unfortunately they don't come back as quickly as I would like.
After I had recovered so much that I no longer had to stay in the hospital, I moved to Gerd. I needed an apartment and a friend.
I had found a real friend in Gerd and over time this friendship became love.
Another love as I feel for you. But also love, I can not describe it in more detail. It's kind of weird with both of us. I'm actually not the type of woman who falls head over heels in love with someone. "
She had finished walking in the room and was now sitting in the armchair. The legs pulled up and encased in the arms.
Judging by her expression, she was far away now. Although he wanted to bring her to comfort her and tell her that something like this would not happen again because he would take care of her, he realized more than clearly that she didn't want that now.
Then she started to tell me again: "I had crazy nightmares every night for years. When I woke up I didn't know what I had dreamed of. But was unlikely to be scared and was crying like a little child.
Which unfortunately still happens every now and then. Only today I am mostly able to dub it. So that someone who doesn't know me so well doesn't notice.
How I started going out alone once in a while two years ago. I couldn't always just stick to Gerd. Even if it was just walks or visiting his parents with the little one.
Gerd brought me a young German shepherd one day after work and said to me that he will take care of you and Ivon soon when I'm not there. Believe me, the dog apparently remembered it well.
If someone tries to get closer than a meter to me without saying anything, he has the dog on his throat. But he hasn't bitten yet. Because everyone instinctively stands still and I can bring Toby back to me.
The last and only memory after that I had with you last Friday on the plane. Since then I know that I have two older brothers, maybe one day they will show up here and I will find my family again. That would be great.
Now I know why my driving instructor was so surprised that I was able to ride a motorcycle so well. Well, I drove a lot with Mike, much to the pain of Piet. Because we were rarely careful, one always wanted to outdo the other. Piet was then always busy collecting the remains. That's how he always put it and let us patch it up again.
You can't imagine how I miss them, sometimes I feel so lonely even though I'm not alone.
Maybe I'm married to Ivon's father, but I don't believe it. But I don't know. Now you know everything, at least what I know. How it goes on, we will experience it or not. "
Slowly she came up to him, sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him. While she consciously noticed him again for the first time.
He heard her ask softly, as if she was afraid of his answer: "And do you still want to be with me now? I can't promise it will be easy. I also don't know what happens if I can remember anything. Maybe then I'll go away and leave you alone. I just do not know."
There she sat on the bed like a common misfortune and looked at him so sadly that you can hardly describe it.
"Sure I want you to stay with me and everything that comes will be regulated somehow. If you ever leave someday I will not be happy about it. But we had at least for a while. If I would have preferred you would stay with me forever. ”And with himself he thought how can you do this to a person, especially her.
She looked at him and tried to smile, but somehow it didn't seem to work. The memory of what was said was still too strong.
When he sat very close to take her in his arms, he noticed that her whole body was trembling. They had been sitting there for a while, until he finally noticed that they were calmer again.
He handed her a glass of champagne. "Drink this here, maybe you'll feel better afterwards."
"Thanks, it will be over soon. Now you know what I didn't want to talk about all the time. ”She tried to explain to him. While she just sipped the champagne this time, "You know, I don't really like this stuff. I actually only let him come so that we have something suitable to toast. ”She grinned at him halfway normal again. "I could stay here with you forever. You can easily forget that from before, at least for a while. ”
"Then just stay here, I had no plans anymore today anyway. Except to take care of you a bit and tomorrow I will show you my island? ”He said tenderly.
"Yes we'll do that. I'm already looking forward to it."
Now she was lying very close to him, he could feel every breath and knew that she just couldn't leave him, at least not for longer. How could a woman drive him crazy? Actually, he was the one who drove women crazy.
Continue Reading to The Attachment Partner (Chapter 8)
